Why Relationships are Like Sorting Black Socks

In my ever growing determination to figure things out, something occured to me during a recent laundry sorting session. Relationships are like matching up black socks.

Colored socks, forget it, too easy. Maybe white socks come close. It’s the black socks.

Socks: Upon causual inspection, the 12 or so black socks on the bed looked very easy to match up. I made little stacks of two black socks until I had 6 stacks and, of course, one extra that had no “partner.”

Relationships: You meet someone and they seem to have potential to be a perfect mate. Polite, funny, charming. Maybe they’ve been through the wringer a time or two, but that’s ok. They might be a good fit.

Socks: You look closer. Suddenly you realize that in one stack, a sock has a narrow band around the top and the other does not.

Relationships: You go out for a second date and at dinner you notice they talk about themselves and never seem to have any interest in you. Maybe they forgot their wallet, oops! What is going on with that mole on their cheek? Is it cancerous? Maybe you should tell them to get it checked. You decide to go to the bathroom and sneak out of the restaurant.

Socks: You look at the other stacks, they look like they are good matches! Why can’t you find the one that has a band around the top of it? Wait..you see another sock with a band.

Relationships: Your best friend’s boyfriend is really sweet. She treats him like shit. You think he deserves better, frankly you. You call him to come over to help you “fix” your computer. He’s so nice, he comes over. You are dressed like a slut!

Socks: Ok, you break up the pair and move the banded sock over to the first pair. You realize although it has a band, it is far more worn than it’s mate. It must be older and therefore not a good mate potential.

Relationships: You make out with your best friend’s boyfriend, then realize he has really bad breath and kisses badly. You pretend to take the high moral road and kick him out, back to your best friend! How dare he come on to you! After all!!

Socks: Ok, so now you have two messed up potential sock pairs. You have compared bands on top/no bands, if they are faded a lot or a little, now you see some have tight ribbing and others are really wide and loose.

Relationships: You go online and check out match.com, salon.com, jdate.com, farmersonly.com, eharmony.com and post different profiles about yourself to attract different kinds of guys.

Socks: Maybe you’re tired and decide the Hell with it and just put any two black socks together. So what if they don’t match perfectly?

Relationships: You do speed dating and go home with some guy because you are lonely and bored. Then you find out he has a thing for slapstick comedy and ESPN reruns of baseball games. You wish you had just stayed home.

Socks: You gather up all the black socks..the ones with the band, the worn out ones, the snug newish ones and the delicate frayed ones and put them away in a lump, even with one extra..you never know it might show up on your door some day.

Relationships: You want to just give up and forget the whole thing. Your ex calls and says he is getting married. Not to you.

Socks: You take the socks back out of the drawer, put them together in pairs, to your best ability and move on.

Relationships: You gave up. You forgot about it. You’re not looking. Of course what happens next? You find him.