New Way to Keep People Driving Safely

Yesterday I drove my mum and myself up to the land of YARN PORN: http://www.morehousefarm.com. Sounds normal enough, but there was an added twist to our journey. One that may have changed my life, FOREVER.

You see, it started earlier that morning, while dressing. I decided to wear a bright orange, Blogger-orange actually, shirt to acknowledge the lovely colors of autumn. In my contiunal graphic-designer-compulsion to color coordinate, I decided to wear my bright ORANGE, but accidently LARGE underwear.

I don't often wear this underwear. It's the gotta-wear-them-cause-I-am-too-lazy-to-do-the-laundry-and-it's-the-last-clean-pair underwear. I meant to buy hi-cut ORANGE underwear, but got (Granny) panties by accident. Each time I wear them, I think they grow higher on my torso. Last time they almost reached my bra if I gave them a ladylike yank.

I fear someone will discover I'm wearing them. Just thinking about it causes me a great deal of embarrassment, shame, humilation and angst!

It didn't take long for me to realize the grim fact: if I had a car accident, the ER doctor would surely cut my clothes off to attend to my wounded body. Even if my underwear remained intact, he/she would surely see them! Then the news would get out and my frighteningly large undies would be on display, for all the WORLD to see! How could I move beyond that? Even with all my Buddhist training, knowing that there really IS NO UNDERWEAR, I'd have to step back and declare that perhaps, in this one instance, Buddha was WRONG and that there ARE BRIGHT ORANGE GRANNY PANTIES COVERING MY PRIVATES AND NO ONE LIVING OR DEAD should see them.

That's how I learned a new way to insure more people drive safely. Make them all wear embarrasingly large or small (depending on the humor value) underwear and remind them that if they are yakking on the cell phone, not paying attention and get into an accident that they, too, could become the next inductees of Underwear Hall of Shame!

Think about it.