The Effects of Shambhala Training on Relationships-My Starting Point

Geez, that title makes me feel so smart!

NOT.

Nevertheless, one kind reader reminded me about how important meditation practice is in her 10 year marriage. I've neglected to talk about "Practice" because I still believe I'm not very qualified to do so. Just for some background, in 1993 Sam introduced me to a secular form of Tibetan Buddhism called "Shambhala Training" by way of a book entitled:Shambhala: Sacred Path of the Warrior by Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche.

I was raised without formal religion. One of my parents was raised Catholic and the other very "relaxed" sort of Judisim. Somehow my folks decided it made more sense (or they didn't want to deal with fighting about it) if my brother and I were allowed to chose a faith to follow on our own.

This was good because I wasn't crushed by any particular dogma at a young age. This was bad because I grew up without having a good understanding about what faith really meant. I was suspicious of religion and decided I must be either agnostic or an atheist.

So...I read the book. I cried. It was very simple to understand and I kept finding myself saying; "Yes! Yes! This is how I feel about things, too!" I wanted more...so...I went up to Karme Choling, a Buddhist Meditation Center in Barnet, Vermont and attended the first in a series of about 13 classes, simply called; Level One. It was to introduce me to the process of meditation, of beginning to learn how to tame the thoughts of my very wild mind. I found it grueling and strange. Everyone had a creepy sort of friendliness about them. I started to seriously fear I was getting into some sort of cult. There was something about the process, though that made me feel for the first time, that my mind and body felt synchronized. It had a very calming effect on me.

I didn't keep up with classes. I had too much fear. 9 YEARS later when Sam and I were considering getting back together after a few years apart, he asked me to take Levels 2 and 3 and then I was on my own. I promised I would. I'm glad I did. Our relationship changed dramatically for the better after I took those classes. Suddenly I had a new vocabulary in which to communicate with. I had learned some new practices, along with meditation that helped me to open up. We began to relate to each other in ways I never thought possible. It truly was life-changing and not full of "mumbo-jumbo" tricks or bullshit. It felt and still feels very very real and honest.

I started a journey that has lead me in just two years to taking all of the classes, including a 2 week graduate program. Each class was a challenge, made me doubt everything, but also there was this "something" that drew me forward. Once I started to look at the "stink" of my own life, neurosis, habitual patterns, I could not go back to ignoring them. Also, I began to open up in ways I had never imagined I could-and also realized just how much further I have to go.

Throughout this process, too, there was a great deal of sitting meditation. I believe, as so many others do, that meditation really DOES make a tremendous difference in how you relate to things.

Sadly, what I discovered over these past few weeks is that even with all this training, if you don't keep up with it and keep sitting on that cushion and working with your mind, the tendency is to just have a wild mind again, which leads to all sorts of nasty things-like not getting to sleep in your own bed.

Not to be a saleswoman or anything, I seriously reccomend checking out Shambhala Training or, at least, reading the book (there are MANY MANY about Tibetan Buddhism and Shambhala Training) "Shambhala: Scared Path..." As someone who was really concerned about it being a cult it is far from it. It's not a lot of BS. It's about how to work with your mind...just check it out!